I was feeling annoyed with Downtown...and then I remembered why we left Silverlake

So we're still in the process of trying to find a daycare center for Nathan (something that has turned out to be a far bigger PITA than I expected). I've been striking out at places in and near downtown, so we decided to see what was available in Silverlake. MB contacted a place called Camelot Kids and was told a) they don't like getting phone calls--all contacts have to be made through their website, b) they had no openings for 2009 c) they had very few openings for 2010 and they had a selective admissions policy. Wo.

MB decided to check out their website and discovered the following gems:

* There's a "Conflict Resolution Word of the Month," described as follows:

Conflict resolution is something that we all work on, on a daily basis here at Camelot. We have brainstormed and come up with various ways on better educating our children about conflict-resolution. We have decided to showcase a different word each month that every class will discuss during one of their school days. We hope that by doing this they may have a better understanding of that word and can formulate different tools to apply to their everyday lives.

MB and I were guessing which words they used. He came up with FAIL and I came up with CRETIN and POSEUR.

* The website includes a lovingly detailed description of their toilet cleaning routine:

* Every urinal, commode, sink and even the floor is treated with Sanis Ultra clean, followed by a fresh water rinse.
* Water is vacuumed away along with all bacteria and soil, allowing floors to dry quickly.
* All fixtures are blown dry so your restroom is ready for immediate use.

Along with this, we have Suzanna our cleaning lady who comes twice a week and cleans each and every bathroom as well as all the other rooms in the facility. The toilets have also been fitted with an anti-bacterial solution that sanitizes after every flush.

We also have an air purifier in each class-room to remove airborne particles and hopefully reduce the spread of gems between the children.

*They offer classes in organic gardening, Bollywood and "Pixies, Fairies & Imps!"

My boss has a theory that modern liberals, in the absence of a meaningful spirituality, have taken to turning their children into fetish objects. I laughed when she told me, but now I think she's on to something.